I feel I must wear my favorite clothes and hold in my hand a single white lily
\nOn the last day of my life in the world,
\nAs I embark on my journey beyond it.
\nI want to be focused on future and let past settle by itself.<\/p>\n
Last week I received intimation from God
\nThat my sojourn on earth was ending in two weeks,
\nAnd I was to continue my life somewhere in the universe,
\nCloser to Him and His work.<\/p>\n
I have just started rummaging through my papers
\nTo pay my dues, close accounts, and to transfer assets,
\nBut I am at a loss to find out how best to donate my bigger possessions
\nAnd how to preserve my writings.<\/p>\n
I feel overwhelmed with the urge to thank the people
\nWho have given me love, friendship, practical help, and advice,
\nBut I know even doing that will not satisfy me \u2013
\nFor human life is to remain indebted forever to man and nature.<\/p>\n
I have been thinking about death since my childhood
\nBut did not know my time was coming up so soon,
\nThe mystery of life is that we do not know who controls it
\nAnd do not know where we came from and where we are going.<\/p>\n
I cannot but think about the great experiences life gives us,
\nThe great potential it carries,
\nThe excruciating pains it puts us through,
\nThe intricate drama it weaves around us.<\/p>\n
All big institutions of man like governments, business, education, etc.
\nLook like toys when juxtaposed with death;
\nAll wars, material lust, social strife, melt before death –
\nA lot of human life looks misconceived before the cosmic forces of life and death.<\/p>\n
Even as I am busy ending my commercial ties
\nI am still unable to end some of my human connections.
\nI would like to say goodbye to some of my friends and relatives,
\nI would like to say goodbye to some of my favorite scenic places.<\/p>\n
I wish I could have stayed a little longer
\nTo finish my important work:
\nHelping human beings, philosophy, and literature.
\nI wish I could have lived longer to help my children become educated and independent.<\/p>\n
It seems that in spite of my deep involvement with death
\nMy preparations for it have been too meager;
\nI may have been insincere and irresponsible to life,
\nI may secretly have despised and been afraid of death.<\/p>\n
But now I am all ready for it:
\nMy unfinished work will take care of itself.
\nNothing is more important than the journey of life,
\nAll our projects close to our heart are only attempts – they never finish.<\/p>\n
I have loved to read books
\nBut I do not know if they will be available in my new world \u2013
\nMaybe there will be no need for them there:
\nKnowledge and art may be unnecessary for a blessed life.<\/p>\n
What about music, another of my passions?
\nBut a fulfilled life may not have a place for it.
\nWe live in the world with a continuous gap
\nBetween existence and fullness.<\/p>\n
At this time I cannot but help thinking that how much of the magic of life
\nGets wasted in philistine pursuits, selfish chores and moribund state,
\nUnfounded insecurity and crass insanity,
\nDelusional purposelessness and plain blindness.<\/p>\n
At this point I want to be forgiven and want to forgive others
\nFor the inhuman acts and petty behavior made in the heat of the moment,
\nThe supreme irony of life is that no one knows how to live it;
\nLife is passing through a dark tunnel, hoping there is light at the end.<\/p>\n
I feel now ready to take the journey to the unknown,
\nEven though I have qualms about some of the things I did here
\nAnd feel bonds with some people, things, and scenes
\nBut the scintillation of the future beckons me.<\/p>\n
Suffern, New York, 9.7.10<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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